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Quietly opening the door I looked into see Bailey up in bed reading. I could tell she had heard the wholeconversation. Terrified that she now new my secret and I would face asecond rejection, she did something perfect. Bailey put down her book,opened her heart and pulled me down into the bed with her. We spoonedwith her arms wrapped around me and my back pressed up against her as Icried myself to sleep. Her only words were soft encouragements offriendship and love.I woke in the morning still wrapped in her arms. Nothing had happened inthe night but I no longer cared if Bailey was some spy from Scott. Hertender words had kept me from drowning in my sorrow. It was even cute howshe had this little snore when she slept.As I lay in her arms I considered how things had gone the last few months.So many people had come in and out of my life, I had an emotionalwhiplash. I had been in lust with Monique but to be honest I was a closefriend with benefits who she enjoyed dominating. We. No, doublemajor: anthropology and women's studies. Except I can just imagine somestuck-up girl in the class asking me how I could possibly claim tounderstand women's issues.Oct. 15, 2000There was some sort of prayer ceremony today to bless the nursing mothersof the tribe. Myonnen made me come with her. Well, really, I'm glad I gotto go, it made me feel very special and honored and blessed, even if itwas strange. We both got all covered in paints and stuff, lots offertility symbols and things, erotic-looking patterns painted on mybreasts, the works. Probably more old pagan magic than Christian prayer,but I don't think there's anything wrong with that, really - The churchhas always grown by incorporating spiritual customs instead of replacingthem.Anyway, I think it was good. I felt very, um, joyful in my motherhood, aliving, powerful link in the cycle of life. It sounds silly to write it,but it wasn't silly. The truth is, I felt so much a part of this, thisfemale mysticism, that.
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